Yeah, I don't see how AA killed her marriage either. To me, the marriage was predicated on him being a certain person (an alcoholic) ... And when that change, the relationship could not adapt, and thus failed.
I don't think that's any different that me coming into al-anon... And changing, and thus realizing that my marriage no longer works for me. Al-anon is not killing my marriage... The reality is that my new healthier self is incompatible with my husband's drinking.
The author seems very closed minded to what the al-anon program is really about. I'm not sure where the idea of al-anon promoting 'victims' keeps coming from. That's the 2nd or 3rd time I've read that this week. That certainly isn't my impression... I see the program more as a self-empowerment than anything else!