Originally Posted by
Alone22 
Kitty I really wish my old career had a part time choice, but it doesn't. If I could have that it would make life really easy right now. It has been 11 years since I have been out of that career and a lot has changed, so much so that I feel in order to be competitive I need to take some classes before I even try to go back. I was planning on getting that done this summer so I would be ready to look for work once the kids were back in school in the fall. I feel if I wait it just puts my chances at having a good salary/career in question. Not having a part time option makes me feel as if I need to get on one side of the fence or the other on getting back to work. Whatever choice I do make I want to make sure I am making it for the right reasons... ie not because I have stuck my head in the sand and not because I am over reacting. Right now I am having trouble knowing how I really feel. What I do know for sure is that I am confused about it all. It seemed so clear a few weeks back when RAH was only an AH irritating me with all his self centered crap. I usually feel knowledge is powerful but right now having more knowledge about how serious alcoholism is (his alcoholism) and where it can progress to has me at this point on the fence. I honestly thought my AH problem with alcohol wasn't so bad that it couldn't be "fixed". We have been dealing with this for a long time now and I just figured one day it would magically get all better. That he was smart enough and loved me enough that it would all just go away...HA... ignorant me.
Beyourself... thank you so much for sharing your opinion with me. I needed to hear that. I know there are a lot of two income families out there and they get it done. We used to one ( I stopped working after baby #2). For us it was very stressful with just one kid and trying to manage it all. With three... yikes.
I'm a single mom. I'm in a single mom network of moms with up to 8 children they are raising on their own. In our case, DS's bio-dad does not get him every other weekend. My folks live 600 miles away. So, a 'break'? ! Ha!
I learned early on that it is a good strategy to get the support system around you locally. Finding friends to trade child care and even close enough friends to take your child/ren when they're sick if you have to work is another good strategy. I know, too, how hard it is to have a network of family friends when you have an alcoholic in the family.
I want to encourage you to continue your education and keep your skills current, no matter what your job decision might be. I believe this is beneficial for the mind, body, and spirit, the kind of balance we strive for when we're in recovery. I also know from experience that your children will be able to see in you that education and hard work are very admirable and worthy endeavors. My son reviews my grades on a regular basis.
Staying at home with the children is very important, imho. No one else can teach them what we can as parents. Finding that balance between raising the children and paying for their raising is crucial in being a successful family.
If there are options in your career to build your skills and possibly consult from home or part time basis, you may be surprised at the opportunities now, versus 11 years ago.
I'm finding that to be the case now.