Hi TigerLili,
I am an alcoholic, in recovery,who lives with someone who drinks. He is a weekend warrior/problem drinker.
We have been married for 27 years, and we have 2 children.
I tried to stay sober without attending AA, or addressing my co-dependency issues. I ended up being a dry drunk who was miserable in her own skin. I stayed this way for 5 years. During that time, I developed resentments toward alcohol. I resented that I couldn't drink, I resented my husband for drinking, I resented others who drank.
Eventually, I drank.
I finally sought help in AA, and Al-Anon. For me to remain sober and serene, I truly had to admit I was powerless over alcohol, not just my relationship with it..but, others, including my husband.
It has been a little over a 1 1/2 years since I began this journey. Today, I am able to accept my husbands decision to drink, and he respects and accepts mine not to drink. I could only work on changing myself, my reactions, my attitudes.
Our marriage has survived to date. Who knows if down the road his drinking will become a bigger issue for me, or threaten my sobriety? Today, I take it one day at a time and enjoy the life I have.
I don't know if that helps you at all. For me, my recovery is due to AA, Al-Anon, and working on my co-dependency.