I think you are feeling what many folks feel when they first go to Al Anon. But as someone who has been going for about a year I can tell you it has saved my life.
Here are some of the things that people often tell newbies:
Go to at least 6 meetings before you decide if it is or isn't for you.
Try different meetings. Each meeting has its own set of regulars and that makes each meeting have ots own flavor. Maybe one will fit you better.
Many folks who go there are not religious. One of the slogans-take what you need and leave the rest works well here. Some folks in my group are not religious. They respectfully stand quietly while we say the closing prayer. But they value the wisdom of folks who have loved someone who's drinking has affected their lives.
The tools you will gain to be able to focus on your life and handle difficult situations are what will bring you to a more peaceful place in your life.
You don't have to get a sponser. I still don't have one.
You don't have to work the steps. Those are the suggestions for people who want to get the most out of the program, but there are so many other things to be gained from meetings without working the steps.
I think most folks don't start working the steps until they get to the point of being able to focus on themselves.
I did not believe I was codependent. I did not think I needed recovery either.
But I was able to see just how my thinking and perceptions had been skewed by living with an alcoholic. I was obsessive in my thinking-this eats up so much time and energy. I was so angry all the time. I was so focused on him. Al Anon is for me. I realized that the person I had become was not the person I wanted to be.
And the fact that it mirrors AA I think is helpful because it leads us to understand some of the doctrines that our loved ones are learning about and experiencing.
I hope you give it a chance. I know many folks here feel very stronly about how much it has helped them so I hope others chime in with their experiences.