We don't live together and really only have the opportunity to see each other once a week or so and I don't see that changing for the forseeable future. He doesn't drink a lot when he's around me and not to the point where he's hungover the next day. In this way it's manageable and his drinking doesn't interfere with my life. I may eventually decide to move on because it becomes a deal breaker or he may decide to stop.
The End - you're right that I need to detach. I don't ask him about his drinking but I can tell from his voice and text messages that he's hitting it pretty hard most nights. He has asked me a few times about which meetings I go to but I haven't suggested he come with me because I think he would back off.
Dee - In terms of support, have to say that I got sober in AA, but I hate going to meetings. They make me want to poke my eyes out with boredom and frustration, and I find it really hard to sit through them. Listening to people talk about drinking makes me want to drink! I don't currently have a sponsor because no one that I want to ask is available. I need to go to more meetings or different meetings in order to meet more women who might be able to sponsor me. I thought I'd try going to some other 12 step fellowships like NA (also had a prescription drug problem) and Alanon. I stay in touch via text and Facebook with a handful of people who have long term sobriety and we catch up for coffee occassionally. I go to weekly psychotherapy with an pro-AA psychiatrist.