He's quacking. Trying to make you feel guilty for going to al-anon for yourself. You will learn all the "lingo" you need at al-anon. I agree your 4-year old son doesn't need to hear all that goes on at AA meetings.
I agree with Freedom. Al-anon is where you need to be. If he's still doing speed, he isn't really getting much out of AA anyway. He's certainly not in recovery.