Hi TigerLili
I know many members here have spouses or partners who drink or who are active alcoholics, but they stay sober themselves so it's not a dealbreaker
It is a hard bed you're making for yourself but it's your call....
What's your support system like?
if this relationship is that important to you, I suggest you try with all you have to stay sober, because from my experience a relationship with two active alcoholics in it is pretty much doomed anyway.
D