kittykitty
thank you.
the funny thing is--the thing that holds ME back from contacting isn't because im afraid of getting sucked back in--i honestly feel strong enough that i wouldn't. i deserve a healthy relationship... any future children i want to have deserve a two-parent, engaged household. not to mention, the barrier of my moving away is there to make that an impossibility. what i want is for him to know that's there.
what holds me back is getting a continued rejection--where he WOULDN't share in my sadness of it all. im not asking to be manipulated, but i would like some sort of nice words that doesn't just dismiss what we did share, the good that was there was something that i want acknowledged.
does that make sense? does every interaction with the xAs always turn into them trying to suck u back in? what if they don't? now i feel the pressure that if he doesn't--man i'll be really worthless since everyone else was tried be sucked in (lol)