I really. really. really. enjoy reading your posts.
When I gave up forever I freed up my mind and the monkey on my back jumped off and ran away. It wasn’t easy and it took a lot of willpower but these days I never think of having a cigarette. And so now the battle is rejoined with alcohol. Only this time I have summoned extra resources to fight the battle and your encouragement and support is giving me the strength to face down this monster.
I know that in years to come this mental battle with alcohol will be a distant memory.
I was just thinking this today. How I obsessed to quit smoking, going in the closet for years, torturing myself with strict little rules and rituals designed to restrict something that CANNOT be restricted.... addiction.
And it crossed my mind that I don't remember my quit smoking anniversaries anymore, because I don't think about them, because I don't think about smoking, because I don't smoke. I do think about what made me smoke, and addressing that helped lead me to see the demon alcohol for who it is inside me. And someday I will look at a beer in the same way- as something I don't relate to; something I don't do. But I will cultivate honor and value the freedom that I will have attained with sobriety. We're ahead of ourselves, though, because today is about today.
keep posting.