Originally Posted by
nandm 
How is it a terrible thing to do to someone who reached out for help from someone who is incapable of giving it? If I am unable to meet her needs then she needs to see someone who can. What you are suggesting is ridiculous. It would be selfish and a way for me to not get better myself to think that I am able to sponsor someone. So don't be condescending
I did everything I could to do the right thing which is make sure there was someone who could meet her needs since I could not. I did not drop her on her face. She wants my friendship still and has called me since this. She is quite understanding about the situation and is happy to have a person who can meet her needs.
I am sorry that you can not understand that and feel that she should have stayed with a sponsor who is incapable of sponsoring her. That is ridiculous as without the guidance of a real sponsor how do you propose she remain sober. I would really like to hear your opinions on how she would remain sober with a sponsor who can not be a sponsor??
In the end, everyone here is to help, so lets keep that in mind. =) From what I gather, your 'reasoning' of not taking up on her is because of your 'anxiety', not because of your own sobriety issues?
You obviously passed a lot of hurdles when you were 'asked' to help a new comer, yet something inside of you gave you anxiety. Truthfully what anxiety or thoughts came about? Was it because she was attractive? Gave you an uncomfortable feeling? Or just utterly too disgusting for you to handle?
There is no wrong nor 'acceptable' (this is what I should say) response, as we are all here to help. Be frank. I only ask so that you can be a stronger person and resolve the root of your anxiety in this situation. You don't have to reply, but perhaps a genuine reflection might suffice.
Regardless, I'm glad you resolved this, because it's okay to be selfish! If you feel something is hampering you to that degree then you should definitely correct it.
But at the same time, I just hope you realize what was 'trully' bothering you. From your posts, you seem like a strong person, enough to be nominated as a helper for new comers.
No one's perfect.