Thank you all for your replies. I am a newbie and I am trying to pull my head out of the sand. I am basically taking one step at a time, trying not to fall to pieces every moment of the day. Actually, I don't fall to pieces every day, it is just when he has an episode every few weeks. So I am trying to squeeze in some learning time right now. For many years the main focus in my life has been his health and getting him better, and of course he just had surgery 2 weeks ago so that still remains a big part of my focus, but I also need to start focusing on myself, and figuring out how to deal with the whole situation and where my head needs to be. I have lost who I am, as my focus has been on him for so long.