thanks so much for the wisdom ... I will not push, on the surface they seem to be handling it well so i guess I will not worry. Everyone else in the family just disconnects from AS and I am the one left with decisions, it's always been that way. Whenever something needs to be done I am the one who decides. When he was in jail I encouraged them to visit and it took months for the youngest to do it but when he did it was good. I guess I will continue to gently encourage and leave their decisions up to them. Their brother is in recovery today and I know if he continues to work the program he will eventually reach out to them ... or at least I pray he will. Personally I have told him that I will always love him and as long as he is walking towards sobriety I will help as much as I can in a healthy way, hopefully the kids will grasp that as well.
One thing I have learned with this recent relapse is how hard living here was on him. After he relapsed while we were trying to figure out what to do as far as rehabs and what not. He and I were talking and he said " I feel like a piece of $%## living here" I told him that no one here thinks that about him and even though I think deep down he knows that, he is battling his own remorse and living with the consequences of his addiction and it's hard not to compare himself with his siblings. I never really thought about the ongoing effect with him. I can see already how good the SLE has been for him. Even though his life has gotten exponentially more difficult in all areas now that he is out of the house. I sense a real feeling of accomplishment from him and a new found confidence. For now that is good and I will be grateful for each day he chooses to call and share his life in recovery with me.