I letter to my husband
So I did alot of reading tonight while at work and came up with a breif note for my AH. I don't know when I will give it to him. I am trying hard to focus on me (and our children) and set boundries but I know I have a long way to go. My first step is that I plan to attend a Naranon meeting on Tuesday. So anyway here is my note.
Dear AH,
I love you and I want what is best for you but more importantly I want what is best for our children and having an active addict for a dad is not it. I can't make choices for you but I can for myself and for them. I can no longer enable you.
If you choose to use drugs, you will have to figure out how to pay for them. I can not give you money anymore.
If you become desperate and choose to steal from us, you will no longer be welcome in our lives or our home.
I can no longer allow you to use our van. You will need to find your own way around. I will not drive you to any location that will provide for your addiction.
I now understand that you're an addict and that you will lie to me. I will not accept your promises as I know you are not capable of keeping them.
I will not lie for you or hide your addiction for you. Secrets hurt me and they won't help you.
I will not help you if you get arrested and end up in jail. I will not bail you out. I will not visit you. I will not take you to court. Your trouble is just that. Yours.
Most importantly, if you die from your addiction, I will NEVER EVER FORGIVE YOU. EVER. And if you keep using, you will die.
I know now that I can not rescue you, save you, or fix you. Only you can. (I hope someday you do)
Love,
Me