Hey there LadyM....
I think we have all been there... in search of the perfect opportunity, the perfect combination of words... if all the stars would align for us - we could somehow magically get our A's to see just how right we are about their drinking. Oh, it sounds so easy - and if only... except...
it doesn't work that way. Let go of the thought that you need to have a conversation with him about his drinking. Let go of thinking that you can get him to "see" his problem.
It's hard to let go - I know. I've been there. Heck, I just had a conversation with my AH a few weeks ago (check my posts!)... I said my peace about how the drinking affects me, and then I let go. My AH is only going to see that his drinking is a problem - when it becomes a problem for HIM. That's it. Period. The problems I have with his drinking...well, they are MY problems. Mine to find a solution to... not his to resolve.
If being on the merry-go-round is a problem for you - what's your solution to it? (And please don't say - I have to get my AH to stop drinking!) When we look for solutions - we need to look for things that we can control. Other people's behavior/choices/actions? No control.
Accept the reality of your AH - and decide if you can live with that as-is. If not, what can you do to improve the living situation?