LadyM, (((hugs)))
I am sorry about the position you are in. I am willing to bet almost everyone here has been or is in a similar position.
There is nothing you can do or say that will get through to him. What you can do is stat taking care of yourself. Start attending al-anon and spend time here. Educate yourself on how you can fix you. He will decide to get better when he is ready. There is nothing you can do to change that.
Come back here as often as you like, we will be here.
Your friend,