me too Mark,I think Bll was sharing his failings after he did a lot of deep reflection on his life during some bad times.He was looked upon as the leader of AA for many yrs,and yet he could share his shortcomings and his failings.He had a great working humility.He also understood the alcoholic mind so well
Failing to get these things according to my perfectionist dreams and specifications
perfectionist...how many times have we breached this subject here ,but only using other words like ...they ain`t doing it right....that group ain`t going to make it...he/she won`t stay sober.... if you don`t work the program like we do.......we can increase the list ad infinitium almost...
it describes my rigid thinking pretty well,my second sponsor Dutch,urged me to let my thinking become more flexible because it was too rigid.I have found when I do,I am a lot happier because I can stay out of the directors chair,mind my own business, and enjoy life more..... sober.
That`s one reason I do not listen to those AA radicals,but I have found paying attention to AA old timers without those perfectionists attitudes is better.
another part I like is
There wasn't a chance of making the outgoing love of St. Francis a workable and joyous way of life until these fatal and almost absolute dependencies were cut away.
Then only could I be free to love as Francis did. Emotional and instinctual satisfactions, I saw, were really the extra dividends of having love, offering love, and expressing love appropriate to each relation of life. Plainly, I could not avail myself to God's love until I was able to offer it back to Him by loving others as He would have me. And I couldn't possibly do that so long as I was victimized by false dependencies.
For my dependence meant demand, a demand for the possession and control of the people and the conditions surrounding me. While those words "absolute dependence" may look like a gimmick, they were the ones that helped to trigger my release into my present degree of stability and quietness of mind, qualities which I am now trying to consolidate by offering love to others regardless of the return to me.