First, HarleyBluz, I really share your concerns about quitting drinking--the personal ones about messing up the party by stepping out. Trying to remain "in the party" for everyone else, AND myself, has made it very hard for me to quit and has had me on a merry go round since I began to try to quit in April. So I would say that you (I) have to let that party go. If it goes on without me, it goes on without me. And I can't even pretend to participate--as I have done so far. It just hasn't worked. (And, like EVERYBODY on SR told me it wouldn't, but I had to try.) So I share your concern about the effect this will have on your buddies. Yep. It will. I'm just hoping there's something better for them on the other side as well.
I struggle with faith as well, and I also feel AA is a little inauthentic for me for that reason. But I want to ask you an intellectual question if you don't mind.
If you don't believe, why not say the prayer? Maybe the mantra is valuable. What can it hurt? I struggle with it because I'm not an atheist and live as though I was one so I feel guilty. But I'm guessing if I was an atheist I wouldn't care a whit whether I have to recite something the group believed in.
I mean, I've said the Pledge of Allegiance hundreds of times without ever thinking about it. I honor the intent. I'm somewhat patriotic, but I don't ever really listen.
Isn't it beautiful that that whole group gets up and says that thing together?
Hang in there. PM me if you want to talk about the problems of leaving the group party.