Welcome to SR. I'm glad you found us....but, as always, I'm so sorry for the reasons that bring you here.
There is good news. This is a really awesome forum with a lot of collective wisdom. It's nice to finally realize that you are not alone and there are so many of "us" out there.
Your post makes two things pretty clear. You recognize that he has a problem. You recognize that you have a problem. And he is in denial. That is the reality that many of us deal with. And there's nothing that we can do or say that will wake them up or change their minds. So we have to ask ourselves......why do I keep beating my head against the same wall.........I'm getting a headache!
It is OUR pain that finally brings us to the point that we say "enough is enough". Now that doesn't necessarily mean that we walk away from our addicted loved one but it is the door that opens up for US to search for a way to stop our suffering.....whether our loved one continues to use or not. It is possible.
Others will be along soon to welcome you. In the meantime, if you haven't already, the stickie posts at the top of this forum are a great source of information. Personally, I have found tremendous relief in Alanon and Naranon.
Gentle hugs
ke