Welcome Kopfan. You need to take a spiritual vacation and get back to where you need to be in your own heart. And if you've never been there -find it.
Especially now since you've finally 'accepted' your disease. Take it one day at a time and each day change something up. Change your thinking about how you feel about alcohol will help -don't let it sit in your mind like a weight and make you a puppet.
Wishing you peace and strength.