Mary, ((((hugs))))
I really admire the strength and courage with which you are handling everything. It takes a lot to stay resolute to even the right decisions sometimes. I know there is not much to say here in terms of what can be done, but just remember to keep the focus on you and make it a positive one.
Us codies struggle so much with not being able to "solve" the problems and be there for the answers. But the old saying really is true, you can't help someone else. They have to want to help themselves. This is the mess that he got himself into and maybe his HP will help him out of it, maybe not. But it is on him.
Keep chugging!