Wow. That is a lot to try and detach from. And you sound as if you are doing a fantastic job of doing just that.
It's remarkable isn't it, the denial about things said/done once they are sobered up and "cured" as you say... My AH has talked about being alarmed by his blackouts and nearly driving off the road many times and yet when asked directly about that at outpatient rehab, denies it happened and instead says that I've been psychologically manipulating him to make him believe things that are not real and to change his perception of reality. Mind numbing stuff-- just like your ex supposedly not hallucinating...
I hope your ex AH will choose life for himself but it sounds as if that's not all that likely and as sad as it is, you know that there's nothing you can do to change that.
You are a kind and loving person and have done all that you could.