Originally Posted by
Shellcrusher 
M1k3 reminded me of something I wanted to toss out there.
My now RAW will hit 1 month sobriety tomorrow. Yes. I absently know how long it's been.
This question may be directly more towards our double-winners. I believe there's nothing wrong with me be happy and proud of my RAW. Granted it's only been 1 month, it's still progress that I've never seen before. Should I be giving her high fives and rewarding or do I simply keep my mouth shut?
I believe better recovery happens from within. Generating your own source of pride in your own accomplishments is the ticket. Perhaps I'm answering my own question. In a sarcastic light, I reward the dog when he takes a dump outside versus on the carpet. Pavlovian theories and all that.
What do you all think?
Here's my somewhat cynical view. Back earlier this year my AH had about 6 weeks of sobriety and was going to AA daily and all that. On his 1 month anniversary I congratulated him. He told me I was patronizing and to shut up. Then a few weeks later in a rant he told me that it was crappy that I'd never congratulated him.
Point of my story: Do what you want to and what you feel is right. It may or may not blow up in your face or may not be what your wife wants or may be just what she wants. Your congratulations won't make or break her recovery success and if it does then she's not really all that invested personally in her own recovery.
Sorry if that sounds harsh. I just remember thinking "what's the right thing to do that will be helpful?" and clearly that line of thinking was no good in my situation.
