Sounds like things are going well!
Try not to stress too much about the "disconnectedness"--he is right, that he is rebuilding himself from the inside out, and that pretty much sucks up your emotional energy for the first several months. Frankly, I sorta worry about alcoholics who don't behave that way in early recovery, because it usually means they aren't doing the internal work--they just go back to being "themselves" without drinking, when it was the same "themselves" that kept getting them into trouble.
With time and recovery on both sides, you can have a good relationship again. No guarantees, of course--some relationships don't survive recovery. But you have a good shot at it.
Hugs, congrats on all you are doing for YOU.