Suckage on a stick...that's funny! LOL!
I don't want to date the other guy. Are you kidding me? Ack! That's the last thing I need. But it is a little painful sign to me that I can't, even if I wanted to, because I am legally married and I value my vows. I need to be completely free to pursue other men.
I searched this forum and found another thread from 2009 on this very topic - why we can caught up in going back to the hardware store for bread. I found some very good info there...eloquently written by Ago.
We are powerless over alcohol, people, places and things
I am powerless over anything or anybody I give my power to.
So the moment I NEED bread from a hardware store or anywhere else for that matter I am powerless over that, or the moment I NEED someone else to conform to my definition of love I am in trouble, Love has to be something you give, not something you get.
The 3 C's, one is "we can't control it" when I am trying to get a loaf of bread from a human being incapable of giving me MY version of bread, I am trying to control them.
The only way to get bread is from within, is to make it ourselves. The answer is always found from within, never from other people or "hardware stores"
I copied and pasted the entire reply (this is one small piece of it) for future reads. I recognize today I am not taking my own advice of "doing something different." I am actively participating in the madness by doing nothing different. I am being just as controlling expecting that the damn hardware store is going to have bread this time! I have this vision of myself, going up to the hardware cashier (some old grizzly guy with denim overalls on) and asking "where is the bread?" He says, "we don't carry bread here. This is a hardware store." So I leave and come back the next day, "Is the bread in yet?" and the old guy says "We don't carry bread here". So I come back the next day, and the next, and everyday for 6 months, asking for bread. AT some point the cashier is going to call the cops to have me arrested for harassment.
I need to stop being that person. It's embarrassing to me now. It's time.