Originally Posted by
Tuffgirl 
Thanks guys. Anvil, your post made me teary-eyed. I have developed a pretty neat friendship with my first ex - the kids Dad. We are working to get him up here for HS graduation next spring. It's nice to be away from the RAH and know I can have my 1st Ex here without drama and conflict. He can even stay at my house - because its MY house.
jds - I have been moving on. But...well..ummmm...I did meet someone. Ok, ok, I really am not interested in dating, per se. But I did find him very attractive and we had a great conversation and we've been talking since then and damn it! Damn it! Damn timing! But I am enjoying being asked My opinion and MY thoughts and being told I am a neat person. We are not "dating" but we have been talking. And I don't feel guilty at all - but I do feel stuck whenever I think about what pursuing this further could look like.
Lexie, yes, the best, kindest thing for me would be for me to let me off the hook on this one. Emphasis on me let myself off the hook. I did the best I could. I showed up for this marriage, but its been one hand clapping the entire two years. I can't do one hand clapping - it makes me look and feel foolish! ; ) And it is a HUGE waste of my precious years left on this planet.
I have been praying for strength on this one for over a month. Today I took the first step. I did block his number from calling or texting me. I filtered his emails from hitting my inbox. I am cutting him off - communication stops today. No more crazy making behavior from this guy. I have an appt with my therapist tomorrow. I have a meeting tonight. I have my books, my new house, my many DIY projects in the queue. I have a family who loves me and shows it. I have two awesome kids, a great job, two neurotic dogs who do bring me great joy in their dysfunction. The RAH is becoming a bother. A PITA. I see the game clearly now. And for the game to end, I need to stop playing. Just. Stop. Playing.
*SIGH*
I suspected you might have found a 'reason' to want to move on and there was a reason you felt stuck.
So, there it is.
You can only do what you need to do.
I've thought about my recent separation from exABF, and we haven't defined anything 'together' and I wonder if sometime down the road I may want to make myself available to be and have a partner in life. I figured I'd revisit this subject in six months and if I'm not ready then, give myself whatever time I think I'll need then.
Between now and then, I'm genuinely focused on my life and my little son's life.'s
Cycles in life are different for everyone, so only you can decide what's best for you. But let me ask you this: How have things worked out when you've let RAH make all the decisions for your life? What does history tell you? And when you say 'it makes it look like TG was the bad one for filing first', can you explain WHO It looks like this to? Is there some board of directors for this sort of thing?
Ok, I'm done.
