This is the most...
cogent, self-aware, clear and concise definition of this oh-so-common dynamic I have ever read.
Wow.
My thoughts-- But will you allow it to effect change? For me, too, "the physical intimacy was profound, intense and passionate, and it left a stain." As did my desire to "save" my wife and be a hero (fed into my "I can control everything because I'm tantamount to a God complex).
Then I realized it was an irrational feeling that was causing me to hold on and that I was being a complete idiot.
So I divorced her. There's more to the story but I'll leave it at that.
I'd rather have great sex with a great woman, mediocre sex with a great woman, or just a few moments with Mr. Hand than great sex with a soul-sucking vampire as active alcoholics are (whether they mean to or not).
Cyranoak