I understand what you are saying is completely. I fell into the same trap. I was so drawn to my axbf it wasn't even funny. I had no idea he had a drinking problem. He began to share personal information with me about his life, his fears, his hopes, his dreams. I became intimate with him and it was the best sex I have ever had and will ever have. I felt so connected to him, it was like we were to halves to the same circle. We even talked about moving in together, then all of a sudden he just said he was scared and out relationship just kind of imploded. I personally do believe in soul mates. I have never had so great of a connection with anyone in my life. I haven't talked to him in three weeks now. Deep down I hope he calls me every day, but he never does. So I hope for him that he goes to a rehab and gets sober, and I hope for me that we find eachother again when he has recovered. I don't care what anyone says about his issues and my issues..... I love him. But I have to love myself too. I hope that helps.