We too, have to hit our bottom in order to start saving ouselves. No matter what we do or say, we cannot change them, we only have the power to save ourselves.
As for relapsing, you are not powerful enough to cause him to do that. That is solely up to him. Trust is very difficult to rebuild, maybe therapy would help you.
When you really are ready to change you, change your life, you will know it. Nothing comes before its time.
If you want to stay where you are, do so. In the meantime read up on codependency and bounderies, might help you.