that is excatly where I am. I have made idle threats for years. Never Ever followed thru with my boundary setting. I want things to be different and of course he thinks Im just blowing wind. I havent excatly figured out how to get there.
I think being the type of person I am (idle threats) is very toxic. I really believe had I been more firm from the get go... the outcome may have been much much different. Wish I knew then what I know now. No doubt had I been different / stronger I wouldnt have had to spend so many years in pain and who knows maybe he wouldnt be in such a mess now.
Can you change it this late in the game? I really dont want to leave my husband is there good outcomes that wouldnt require me doing something that I dont want to. I know the outcome to stepping over my boundary should be I leave.. but thats not what I want and I would be doing it to 'show" him. So can you give me some thoughts on consequences?