Sheneedshelp,
NO, she needs you to stop helping!
Take her cellphone, do not give her money.
Pack her bags and tell her to leave.
Stop paying for school.
She may leave.
She may continue her carrying on.
But, at least you will not be assisting her to make the mess she is making.
My brother was a troubled teen.
My parents smoothed the way. He crashed cars. 5 I think. We 3 girls would appeal to them to do something. WE knew! Stop giving him cars already!
He would get in trouble with the police and it would all be "handled".
No consequences, ever.
He is 46, can't hold a job. He is a lovely guy but has strange resentments about my parents. He did something wrong, we got the consequences. They went bankrupt due to everyone who was nuts being allowed to do what they wanted. My parents are very dependent on the very people they did not "help".
They are the ones who grew up independent. My brother is always seeking the easy way. He is now getting to the stage where it is late to even start over simply and honestly.
He was too spoilt to go out and work like the rest of us and without the inheritance that he assumed would be his, as the oldest and the boy, he is lost.
You are not being kind and loving. You are parenting from a place of fear.
My parents' biggest fear is suicide, always was. They gave him all the rope so as not to let him hang himself. He has never felt the pinch of the rope. That would have been good 25yrs ago.
It is quite simple but will not be easy.
You are her enablers. Stop enabling.
Please.
People have said above, she is pushing your buttons and what does she learn each time? This, "They are afraid of me, they can't say no, I have them eating out of my hand." She is also probably having a right laugh with her friends over her silly scared parents!
She is not to blame, she is a teen. She is supposed to be a pain in the a$$! That is her job. Your job is to put the boot down and show her that as her parents, the loving thing to do is stop supporting the madness.
The lunatics are running the asylum! (No offense to the lunatics, I can be one of them.):horse