I'm sure everything seems twice as hard right now (Happy Birthday by the way!!)..... it's like staying sober that first Friday night or New Year's Eve- it seems like everyone in the world is out drinking, even though it's really just in our minds. (Can you imagine if the whole world drank like we did?
)
There really are lots of people your age who don't drink like that and are able to set goals, have stable relationships, etc...... It might just be a matter of meeting some different people.
I finally decided I was going to have to choose between having a productive life or being controlled by alcohol. I really admire you for choosing the right thing sooner rather than later. I know it's hard, but birthdays come and go. The hour or two of fun doesn't last. Hang in there! :ghug3