Suki,
Thanks--I agree that "I love you" is always good. I also think you're right that, chances are, all he'll hear is, "I won't give you any money."
I'm coming from a different place with my question, though. What he hears is not something I can control, but what I say and the intention behind it *is* something I can control.
My intention is to express that I wish he weren't suffering. Maybe I should just say that.