OK, this is going to be a hard post. Earlier this evening on another thread about how far we have come as codis I posted
I no longer feel like that little kid laying in bed and wishing he was dead.
And that just opened the flood gates of repressed memories of the emotional abuse I suffered as a child and what is going on currently between me and my wife.
I always saw my father and wife as 2 different things but with that post it became clear to me that there was no difference. I had always looked at my wife's circumstances as being different and not as bad.
Tonight it came crashing through that the torture I endured under my father is no different than the torture I endured under her. My perspective has just shifted drastically and I realize that I had not yet been honest in my view of her.
I need more time to understand all the implications but I feel that I am moving in the right direction. This introspection and honesty sh1t hurts and I could use a break.
I still feel that even with all this I am in much better shape than I was before I moved out.
Thank you for letting me vent. I really needed to get that out.
Your friend,