Originally Posted by
walkingwithgod 
... now that the work day is almost done and my habit will likely rise again.
Habit? This happens to be a pet peeve of mine. A habit is automatically putting on your seatbelt every time you get in a car. Drinking 12 beers a day, not being able to stop drinking even though you want to is an addiction to alcohol.
In your previous posts you seemed to question that you had a problem. You seem a little closer to accepting that you have a problem with alcohol, perhaps even alcoholism. If that is the case, welcome. Now work on a recovery plan. Research alcoholism and its treatment, read AA's Big Book. Seek out a meeting or some form of counseling. Take action!