This can be a vicious cycle. I remember beating myself up over my behavior, and guess what? Seeking comfort in drink again, same thing over. I think it's a way that the disease tries to keep itself going.
You're not alone, I did some mortifying things. I've been in meetings with people who had a lot of 'baggage' but had obviously built new lives for themselves. It took a bit of time to earn trust back from people, but now we've all moved on. I'm happy now to be alive and have another chance. That's what counts to me.
I have had some strange flashbacks to my drinking days. Sometimes it's as if they are embedded in my physical/emotional memory. Not in the sense of withdrawal anxiety (I hope that gets better for you soon). But months into recovery, sometimes I could be put back into some moment. Begin going into that trance like state. But by then I had learned how to handle it.