Ginger:
Nowhere is it written that just because someone sends you a message or calls you, that you must reply or answer. That's one of the great things about caller ID.
No. As a adult child from a dysfunctional home though with raging insane narcissistic father [could be] you can imagine how maybe i have been 'raised' with some fairly opressive views.
So for sure i don't need to reply but i have this thing whereby i like to keep my word. Particularly with mum and dad. Thats defensive some because if i am true to my word it makes it harder to twist the facts and make out i have done wrong.
I have thought alot about your 'crazy'. Its a powerful message. Recently i have done work on my boundaries. I do need to separate from m&d's crazy yes. Its good that i can come and post here though especially today since sometimes when alone i reach out to the wrong person.
My father says 'no man is an island' quite what you make of this or will make of this is anyones guess. Nothing maybe. Thats ok.
I have found the message of 'i will go this far and no further' helpful. I think in a similar way to you about if i am reasonable and my side of the street is clean then them doing odd or wrong things is not my fault. My dad always harps on about his medical problems. He was such a monster though
But this is just the first step. Learning how to separate from the crazy you've known all your life, and STAY separated is not trivial or easy.
Amen. Thanks
This is my concern right now. Parents are not like a bottle of booze you can throw away so sure its difficult. People have said many times that you dont become a changed person suddenly and this makes sense.
Its going to be difficult with my parents. Right now my #1 priority has to be staying sober from alcohol that way i will give myself a fighting chance.
Some people like ACA meetings for learning some of this, others prefer a therapist.
i am happy ish with how my recovery is. I have my grumbles [time being one] but slowly slowly that monkey i will get
I wish you well in your progress towards controlling your own life and not allowing others to control you.
Thanks for your brill message gingerm-yay you rock!:P
Margt:
My interactions with my parents are always full of toxic emotions-from them and I withdrew.
Yes i can identify.
but it does no good to resent them
ok then got to be angry somewhere though
get it out
I think that they were treated harshly and not shown love
in agreement its a family illness and all
Im sorry for your troubles you have sometimes margot.
Evengrose:
im sorry for your difficulties that your father has with you yes it does kerching ching. I agree. Confronting is not always the best answer. I live on my gut with them [parents] i sort out my mind and hope they do the same.