(((Lexie))) - I'm sorry about all this. Though my niece is only "almost 18", she too has never really had any goals. I'm trying to encourage her to get her GED (dropped out of school in 8th grade, sort of did home schooling until she quit that, too).
It's hard to watch...at her age I was in college, working 2 jobs, and living on my own. Her view of life is she's supposed to be having fun. I know part of that is her age, part is that my dad/stepmom have let her do whatever she's wanted her whole life, but I can see her stumbling around 5-10 years from now if she doesn't make some major changes.
I've done my best, since I moved home, to set a good example, I've encouraged her, I've talked her about addiction (every single blood relative of hers, on both sides, has addiction issues back to great grandparents) yet she's SO excited that at 18 she can go to the clubs.
The only thing that has helped me deal with this (most of the time) is to remember she has to walk her own path, just as I did mine. Her path isn't mine, and she will have to learn lessons just as I did.
She's the closest thing I have to being my kid, and it hurts...I want soooo much better for her, but I have to stand back sometimes, and let her do her thing..and bite my tongue.
I will keep you and your son in my prayers.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy