Lunakim, this is my last post in this thread. In a previous post you said:
But I have somethings under control and handle the situation.
No, you don't have anything under control and no you won't be able to handle it. Alcoholics aren't the only ones with denial issues. When you say stuff like you have been saying that is your codie speaking. You are in denial about how bad things really are and about how bad they will get. Just like your future XAH you will get better when you are ready to get better.
I wish the best for you but fear the worst. Please keep posting so that we can lend whatever support you are ready to accept.
Your Friend,