Originally Posted by
Lunakim 
I don't really see it as this bad.
You will.
It will get that bad and worse. Alcoholics lie, all of them. Alcoholics don't care about anyone but themselves, all of them. Alcoholics will manipulate anyone to keep doing what they are doing, all of them.
Until your abf decides HE wants to recover there is nothing you can do to change that, nothing.
Please look around this forum for the happy endings threads. The "my AH and I are doing great" threads. Let me know when you find one because I haven't seen any.
This may sound harsh but your love doesn't really matter to him. If he has to pick between you and the bottle you will lose.
Its your choice and you will get support here no matter what you do.
But you have been getting the experience of people who have been where you are and they are saying RUN AWAY NOW!
If you do marry I am willing to bet several years in the future you will be here posting about how you wish you had listened to those who have already gone through this and were willing to share their experience.
Your friend,