Thank you all so much for responding. I can't tell you the impact reading all of the responses had on me.. Very glad I found this community. After reading it all I think i cried and cried because inside I think I know the truth. For the first time in a long time I feel a bit hopeful about my own future. Knowing you guys have walked through something like this and survived even found new freedom and hope is so so so helpful I can't even tell you.
Dont know if I am able to walk away today, tomorrow or next month, but I feel like now so where inside I know I can.