Kevin, much of what you say about your father sounds like dealing with mine. He has been asking for a couple of years now (of me and others) what is wrong with me, what am I upset about. In explanation, I gave him a list of ugly things he has said and done, and he simply dismissed it all. Told me I imagined it. My mother is now telling people at church that I 'have a big imagination.' His last communication with me was a dozen ugly e-mails that included calling me an '*******' and telling me I'm causing trouble (because I called the police on someone for punching me) and threatening to show up at my work and cause trouble unless I toed the line.
So, unfortunately, you are probably wiser to simply limit communication. Your gut instincts about how it'll turn out are likely right on target.
I have tried the route of rational conversation and communication. It does no good. I have found more peace for myself by simply cutting ties. I believe in family, forgiveness, all those good things, but have to accept that it really does take two to make a good relationship.