Maybe this will help...
I've seen the comparison of diabetes, also a disease. When someone is diabetic, they have an option to take control of their lives, and make some changes to live happier and healthier. Losing weight, exercising, testing their blood sugar, regular doctor's visits, etc. If someone has been diagnosed with diabetes, and CHOOSES to sit on the couch getting fatter and fatter, jamming KFC and McDonalds down their throats, refusing to go to the doctor, and denying they even have the disease, well they've made the decision to have a short and unhappy life. They will eventually lose their sight, maybe a foot or leg, and eventually will end up in a coma and die. Essentially, the same fate awaits alcoholics who don't get treatment. Would you stick around for that? How long would you put your life on hold, hoping that eventually he will see what he's doing to himself? To you? To your potential children?
Who knows if he even realizes how bad his problem is. He tells you he does, but his actions say otherwise.
Actions are what is important here. The point is, it's not your responsibility to make him see that he has a disease. It's his life, and he can live it how he wants, he is an adult. He has
shown you that he wants to drink. Anything else is pacification, and not genuine. If it ain't genuine, it ain't gonna work.
I understand your strong feelings to this person. Many people were head over heels for their first love. You will not know if this man is in recovery, and committed to being sober, for at least a few years. And even then, how will you know he isn't lying to you about it, or something else. A liar is a liar is a liar.
Pay attention to the posts on here from the truly recovering alcoholics on this board. Go spend some time in the alcoholics forum, to learn about the disease, and see what true recovery looks like. Go to some open AA meetings, and Alanon.
Get some education for yourself, for YOUR sake. You are the one that is important here, not him. He's a big boy, and can take care of himself. We are concerned about you!
