I wouldn't necessarily dismiss any thing that came out of his mouth just because he was an A. I would be more inclined to dismiss them because he was using what he understood as my behaviour to deflect away from his own issues and put the onus onto me.
If he had of approached me calmly and said he had a few issues with me that he would like to talk about then I would have been all ears. But the email was the end of a rage that I didn't stick around to listen to because he couldn't control me or get his own way.
At the time I wasn't trying to change him or control him. The most I used to moan or nag about was the housework or the way he spoke to me and that wasn't so much moaning as me telling him not to speak to me at all if he couldn't speak to me civilly.
I was focused on myself and detaching quite nicely. The email came about because I didn't want to go out for a meal with him. That's all. He perceived my not wanting to go on a date with him as negativity on my part. I just didn't want to spend time with him.