Thanks for the feedback.
He hated being analysed I guess. He hated me reading self help books and he hated me coming here too...I guess he didn't like me listening to any one but him so he could keep me brainwashed, that I really shouldn't mind having a drunken, selfish and abusive boyfriend.
I think I had about 10 self help books altogether. Only two really related to him, "Why Do They Do That" and "Getting Them Sober". The rest all related to me but he still thought "Codependant No More" was all about him...oh and this site was all about him too. The ego!
I agree I probably had become very negative at the time, only towards him mind. These "others" he mentioned...he just meant him because no one else thought that way about me and I wasn't negative around any one but him.
What I thought funny about it was that this all stemmed from me refusing to go for a meal with him, he said it wasn't "normal". We hadn't had sex for 5 years or shared a bed for 2 years but not having a meal together was abnormal. Go figure.
This guy didn't actually care WHY I was negative or unhappy...he just wanted me to cheer up to make his life easier. When I mentioned that to him and he didn't reply, it told me a lot.
My favourite part of the mail is "you focus on you and my faults will disappear". Such a cop out. Deflection or what. What he meant was you do allll the work on yourself, change the things about you that I don't like and I'll do nothing, same as always.
Gosh, I don't know how you guys living with active addiction do it. I could NEVER go back to that craziness.