Wow, thanks for sharing this. I also have a few of those kinds of emails. I have re-read them recently and realized just how far we both (me and the RAH) have come from being in that place where we were too busy trying to blame and change the other person that we couldn't see ourselves and our own contribution.
However, it is a slow process. Sloooow. I am glad I no longer have to live with him. That makes it so much easier!