If you address all those problems first before trying to tackle mine you'll probably discover that most of what you consider faults in me miraculously disappear or, on the other hand you might find out that we're just not suited.
This really stood out for me; I got the same response from my ABF. And he had a valid point; I had a serious rage issue that needed to be addressed. So I spent a year working on myself, and another year building up my financial resources and my boundaries without ever losing my temper. What I found is that his faults did NOT magically disappear, though they were less dramatic than I had thought. I did find out that there are some very important value differences that lead me to think that we're not suited anymore. Because I changed, and started to live according to MY values.
OTOH - that whole "you're THIS way, and I will analyze you in order to denigrate your character" is so quackquackquack. Real adults don't do this to each other. Real adults might say a brief statement of how they feel and what they plan to do, and that's it.
- Sylvie