You know what, i at least thought when it went wrong and i knew one day it would as i think you do really, i'd be able to walk away and move on. When i became pregnant he had stopped drinking, i thought atleast if he starts again( by that time i knew it was no longer possible to survive living with him whilst he drank) i can leave and bring up my children safely, i managed 15 years at the end of which he left and drank again, we were never married so atleast i had financial independance. My children still aren't safe from his abuse and i am not either, with children, to have no relationship atall with him is impossible, so now i have to deal with the abuse maybe until the children are grownup. Please think carefully! I thought i always had the option of walking away from all the abuse if i needed to, i am so tired of the abuse now but he isnt of handing it out.