Welcome to the SR family!
I think you are a smart lady. Your inner voice is speaking and you are looking for affirmation to what you are feeling.
Yes, your life is important
Yes, your happiness matters
Yes, your life is valuable
Yes, you are special
I agree with the above posters, based on our experience, that postponment is a healthy choice. Give yourself the time you want/need to make a healthy decision that brings you peace.
Unsettled feelings, confusion, worries, and doubts are red flags that you may not be on the right path to happiness.
You mentioned attending a support group in the future. I agree that Alanon, Nar Anon or other 12 step support groups will be a good choice.
I have learned how to take better care of myself,
how to have healthier relationships with loved ones,
how to have healthier relationships with business associates, and
how to love and respect myself through Alanon, SR and self-improvement books.
However, one thing that 12 step, SR and books can't teach me (I tried) was how to fix my alcoholic loved one. I am powerless over another adults choices. I needed to let go, or be dragged.
Please make yourself at home by reading and posting as much as needed. You are not alone!
We understand.