Old 06-12-2011, 12:01 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
forgotten1
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Join Date: May 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 82
lunakim... if you must marry him... you should at least postpone the wedding. the kind of questions running through your head aren't just "cold feet" type of things holding you back. they are CORRECT second thoughts because you are having to commit to a lifetime of the same experiences you've had (at best). i say at best because drinking problems are PROGRESSIVE. if he's a binge drinker now, it's going to get worse.

think of all of the effort you've put into your relationship thus far, is it something you'll be able to handle for the rest of your life?! think of the effort you've put in now... and you guys probably haven't had HALF of the hurdles that come in life... if you think you put in effort now, think of what it's going to be like in times when YOU need support (i.e. if either of you have a job loss... or a death to mourn... or maybe even decide to raise children together)... do you honestly think he'd be capable of stepping up? VERY DOUBTFUL when alcohol is involved. in fact, you'd probably pray for him to just "stay out of the way" in the times when you need support because you'll find that dealing with alcoholism ON TOP OF other life obstacles will basically be like having lead weights tied to you when you're trying not to drown.

im sorry. it must be tough to be in your shoes right now since you've basically got a week to figure things out. this is why i say, if you feel you must marry him or stick by him or whathaveyou... postpone it. there's no need to rush, right? if you're meant to be, it'll happen in it's own time. but you DO have a right to weigh your options... get more information into you... have a more solid footing under you by seeking al-anon or personal therapy.

think of what your wedding day would most likely be like with him being a binge drinker... instead of it being the happiest day of your life--you may find that it ends up being the most anxiety-ridden day having to keep your binge drinker from embarrassing you two in front of your loved ones. is that truly how you envision spending your wedding day? or more importantly, is this how you envision your married life?

get more information in you and make your decision with the best interest of YOU in mind. alcohol problems are P R O G R E S S I V E.
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