I'm glad you suggested the iPhone apps. I have one, and I haven't tried these. I use my iPhone b/c I have all my songs on iTunes. Music always helps me with whatever mood I'm in. I play Words With Friends, because I like word games. I have fun and it keeps me focused.
I also study for my classes. It is hard sometimes with motivation, but this is a direction I want to move. I am doing this for myself (not for the RABF or AM or AF). I also like to exercise--especially walking outdoors. I have learned some yoga and Tai Chi, and I've found that the stretching/moving helps me feel better.
I'm using an app to keep track of my diet and exercise. It is a way that I am focussing on myself. I know I will feel better if I get more in shape--it's not about losing weight for somebody else, but about feeling more healthy, having less pain on my knees, etc.
I also love to take a shower/bath to wash away the day. I know I'm doing better if I'm focused on self-care.
Work is stressful, but it helps me stay focused on myself.
When I start obsessing about others (esp. RABF), I try to picture handing them over to God. I picture my RABF with his parents' arms wrapped around them (they are passed on). I think of him bathed in their light, and remember that they are taking care of him.
I also say a prayer to God asking him to bless each person I can think of. I include people who are annoying me or making me angry (like my boss or mom). I think that helps me let go.
I also go though my list of things that I am thankful for. This helps when I start awfulizing about something.
I could think of many more things, but I'll stop here. LOL Thanks for this thread!!